My apologies for not blogging for the entire month of June. Let me fill you in on all that has happened since post #9. I got food poisoning...and that's pretty much it.
Below you will find some tidbits of conventional wisdom that I want to pass on to my son, and I am sure you will also find them to be useful in your various pursuits. Bon appetit.
1) A stitch in time saves nine...unless you aren't an 80-year-old lady, then you'll have no idea what the heck that even means.
2) Dress for the job you want, not the job you have...unless you are a Secret Service Agent and you really want to be a clown.
3) Don't drink and drive...unless you are playing golf, then drinking may be the only way to avoid noticing how bad your slice is.
4) There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes...unless you smart off to your mother, then you'll surely get a whuppin'.
5) Don't throw the baby out with the bath water...Oh, wait a second, that one's for me. Next!
6) If at first you don't succeed, write a book about it...I'm looking at you, Sarah Palin.
7) Do not spit into the wind...'nuf said.
8) If you can open a People magazine and not know 50% of the 'people' featured therein, you are doing many things right. Keep it up son.
9) Picking a team to root for is a fine art. You don't want to jump on a bandwagon (or - even worse - jump from bandwagon to bandwagon), unless its your home-town team, then you get a pass (Example: Miami Heat). If you want to root for a winner, I recommend these three litmus tests: 1) Look for a team that always seems to be in the fight. In any given season they could get hot and take the title. Example: San Jose Sharks (NHL), Atlanta Braves (MLB), Florida State Seminoles (NCAAFB/BB), and Baltimore Ravens (NFL). OR 2) Look for a team with a winning tradition that has fallen on hard times in recent seasons. Their fan bases (while understanding the cyclical nature of seasonal team-sport dominance) will not tolerate mediocrity for long, and the ownership will do whatever is necessary to get back on track. Example: Miami Dolphins (NFL), LA Dodgers (MLB), Colorado Avalanche (NHL), and Nebraska Cornhuskers (NCAAFB). OR 3) Pick a team that has stunk so bad, for so long, and so hard that they have accumulated numerous top-5 draft picks. Now all of those kids are reaching their prime all at once, and they will reign high upon the mountain for at LEAST the next 7-10 years. Examples: Kansas City Royals (MLB), Florida Panthers (NHL), Detroit Lions (NFL), and New York Islanders (NHL).
Now you'll notice that I have one of my favorite teams listed in each of those three examples...I like to keep my bases covered. Which reminds me:
10) Always keep your bases covered.
I love you, son. Cannot wait to see you in two months...or so.
